Change
by Theisaryz Eufuelle
Summary: The change and acceptance of Sesshoumaru regarding scum/human existence. I'm so not good with summaries Oneshot.


So pathetically, loathsomely weak. Their existence perplexes me yet I never gave a second to ponder about it. I was steadfast and faithful to my prejudices, no it's knowledge. I know that they don't have to exist; that they don't deserve to live.

My father fell victim to these insects called humans. He gave his heart to one of these parasites. She never was worthy of my father, yet this mortal so persist to "love" him. Such a disgusting emotion this so called love. So fickle and treacherous that it yet perplexes me that my father resonated with it. Such resonation had bear fruit to yet another disgusting maggot in this already filthy world, called hanyou.

And to this hanyou, he gave his precious, most useful heirloom for conquest -- the tessaiga. And to me he bestowed a useless sword called tenseiga. I cannot use it. My heart does not have patience, let alone compassion, necessary to revive weak useless maggots in this world. The weak cowers before the strong. The former licks the ground on which the latter walks upon. Such should be the way of the world which I exist yet it doesn't heed my thoughts. Not yet. For I am not strong enough to conquer it.

Thus I never understood my father. And I never will. Such was my state of mind.

***

A child of these maggots found me wounded in the clearing which I lay. It was at the time of the aftermath of my battle with the filth called Inuyasha. I scowled at her and her nauseating presence and scent. But she approached, undeterred by my fearsome nature and gave me water. Gave is an understatement. She insolently doused me with a jar of water. If I could only move, I would have killed her. However, because of my paralysis, I saw that she bore no ill will and intended to nurse me back to health.

She offered me food but I, as cruel as I intended to be, refused it. Again she was undeterred and came back. This time though, she had bruises, and for food, she offered creatures that crawl in these maggot's houses.

"Don't bother," I said to her. She looked at her offering with understanding. She knew I would refuse it but she offered it anyway. Suddenly, out of curiosity, I asked her, "Why are you wounded?"

She didn't answer. So she can't talk, huh?

"You don't need to answer if you don't want to" I told her to show her that I didn't care.

She smiled. How utterly puzzling. I said such statement to display coldness yet she smiled as if it meant the opposite. So these maggots are also dimwitted?

"What are you smiling about? I only asked a question" I said.

Little did I know that such a countenance would mark in my subconscious. Compelling me to save her from death's grasp when she didn't ask for such service. How impertinent of her to mar my consciousness with such a thing as a smile.

So maybe, as I deem it, she followed me as a token of gratitude. I can only blame tenseiga, because that is the only explanation my state of mind back then permitted.

***

Strangely out of my norm, I allowed her to follow me. She can do whatever she wants but if she got bothersome, my fatal claws would see to it that she never escapes death again. She followed me and I let her live with that jovial face. I kept her as a source of entertainment, maybe? However, as short days passed by, she swiftly rendered my resolve imperfect.

She is weak yet she was brave enough to enter a demon's den to save her oppressive companion. Her existence means nothing yet she can smile as if everything in this filthy world pleases her and gives her meaning. Every scum of this earth would arouse her curiosity and she would ask me about them. They were things that I dismissively concluded useless and meaningless, but I gave her the knowledge she thirst. As soon as I do she, however, gives them a much deeper, figurative meaning.

Her existence forced me to ponder upon my preset knowledge. Insects I deemed them once yet I treat her like she existed differently from them. She was one of them yet she wasn't at the same time. She didn't display the attitude I know all humans posses: greedy, filthy, parasitic, useless, maggots.

***

Soon enough my enemies started to notice her presence. They would use her as hostage and I, unbelievably, would try to save her from her captor. She became a responsibility, a priority . Why, I wondered, did I let her wander so far into this cold heart? How did she make me fear of her sudden existence disappearing? Fear, huh? I scoffed. What happened to my well honed cruelty towards these creatures?

I didn't need to fear long. She did die the second time as I was pursuing my much dreamed power. There was fear and sorrow of losing someone precious. A chaos of unknown emotions made my heart beat for the first time, in a long time, with warmth. She made me feel.

My mother reprimanded me. Reminded me that I, Sesshoumaru, need compassion whenever I destroy. Oh, the irony. But to my eyes, the human existence was promoted from the scum of the earth to an existence that made me feel fear, sorrow and…. love. All because of an insolent little whelp of a human.

It doesn't matter now though. I don't mind my prejudices anymore. I don't mind if my father had a lowly hanyou for a son. I don't mind if he also treasured a human. I'm in no position to demean him any longer because I also fell prey to the hands of a human. I fell prey but I don't mind. I don't mind because…

I have a new priority. No longer to search for power for the sake of itself but because I have…

A new responsibility. To protect, guard and love….

An insolent little ward….

My Rin.


End file.
